Deep Thoughts, by Annie

Annie is very proud of having lost 5 teeth. I haven't warned her that it's the only time in her life that she gets to be proud of having a smile with missing/variable sized/multicolored teeth. If she still has this smile in 20 years, we will call her a hillbilly. Or British. Some of Annie's friends have not lost teeth. All their teeth are the same size and roughly the same color. Poor things. But Annie had a bright idea to cheer them up:
"Maybe if they feel bad that they haven't lost a tooth yet, they could put a raisin on their tooth and pretend that they have."
Good thinking, Annie.

Poor Brit

Brittany almost dropped her baby! Brittany drives with baby on her lap! Brittany was holding hot coffee and baby at the same time! Brittany had a breakdown and shaved her head!

Why are we obsessed with Brittany and what a headcase she is?

And then yesterday as I was waiting for my kids to finish gymnastics and chasing around after little miss curious Ellie, a mom doing the same thing with her toddler confessed her pent up mom anger to me:
"I didn't know before I had kids how much it was going to feel like I am a slave to them...and I think the expectations of parenthood are worse now than they used to be...I feel like everyone is watching me and judging me...I feel like shouting a big 'Fuck you' to some of these people."

And we wonder why Brit shaved her head.

Note on my car

The other night I was racing to try to make a 6:45pm exercise class that my friend was teaching. I had all kids in tow as Matt was going to be late that night. We bought a Honda Odyssey a year and a half ago. When looking for minivans, we were pretty much guaranteed of getting an Odyssey as Matt has a love affair with Honda. So we did, and I do love it. However, I still have not gotten used to its ginormous dimensions (yes, I can use the word "ginormous" because it is now in the dictionary). So when turning right, I often bump the back tire on the curb. When parking on the street, I often have two wheels in the grass. So the other night in my haste to make the exercise class, I did not do my best parking job. I think I was inside the yellow lines (or at least on them, which I consider "in" to follow most sports rules). But upon my return, there was a note torn from a yellow legal pad stuck to the winshield.

"Dear Sir or Maam
Your bad parking job made it very difficult for me to get into my car. What if I was disabled?! I hope in the future you take others into consideration when you are parking your car.
In Peace and Understanding"

At first I was really angry and felt like writing a note back (except there would be no car to pin it to). But that won't stop me. I will do so here.

"Dear Peaceful and Understanding Person,
Your smug note upset me. What if I had good reason to do a bad parking job, like having Irritable Bowl Syndrome?! I hope that in the future you consider others' circumstances before you jump to conclusions and write nasty notes.
In Forgiveness and Acceptance
PS-If you were disabled, I would hope that you would park in a handicapped spot. That's what they're for."

There. I feel better.

Johnnyisms

Woke up early one morning while I was feeding Ellie on the couch. He comes downstairs, hops up on the couch, leans back with arms behind head, turns to me and says, "So, Mom, did ya do anything intersting this morning? Go for a run? Go to the gym?"

While eating blueberries Johnny instructs me, "Mom, open the hatch." I comply and open my mouth. Johnny pops a blueberry in. "Now chew it." I begin to chew. "Chew it like you mean it!!"

Religion

When I was little, there was a Christian church about three blocks from my house where I would ride my bike from time to time. It was a simple white box with a steeple on top--the kind of place I imagined a pretty white wedding taking place. It lacked the flying buttresses, gothic ceilings, and enormous stained glass windows that our Catholic Church boasted. I wondered why we drove three miles away to church instead of going there. "It's not a Catholic Church" was the reply. This didn't make a lot of sense to me at the time. So what if it's not Catholic. I was sure there was the same altar with men dressed up in robes, trilly singers, and boring readings. The unbroken chain of Church fathers, long thought out doctrine and adherence to Church dogma just would not have made any sense to me at the time. And even now, I think some of this Church doctrine gibberish is a grownup's version of "my Dad is stronger than your Dad." We haven't lost any of our fighting arrogance that we had when we were little, we've just disguised it better with well-worded epistles.

I am all grown up now, but I still long for the simplicity of that white box. The only problem being I'm not sure I love what's inside the white box. So I set out to find a church that I loved. A structure that was simple and beautiful, a people I could both support and be supported by, leaders who inspired me, and a means to do good works and give back to the community.

For lent this year I decided that instead of giving something up, I was going to try to determine which religion I am. Easter was about three months ago, and I still don't have a religion. I have been doing some reading in religious subjects (thanks to my religiously-inspired book club), I've prayed about it, and for two Sundays I become a traitor to the Catholic faith to attend an Episcopalian and a Unitarian service. Both had things that I was very drawn to, but both lacked something as well. I guess I'm looking to belong to something that I am 100% in support of, which completely expresses who I am and what I believe in. And generally when you belong to a group, that's just never going to happen. Part of being in a group is losing a bit of yourself. I'm afraid I'm just not ready to do that. So I've decided that it's okay to be in a state of indecision for awhile, to not totally belong to something, but instead to take the good from many different sources and let all the ideas settle. Just because I don't have a church I'm totally committed to doesn't mean I don't have a God that I'm totally committed to.

Milestones

We completed the birthday and anniversary extravaganza. Annie's birthday on June 28 was followed by our anniversary on July 7 (7 years on 7-7-07!!), Johnny's birthday July 8, and Ellie's birthday July 11. If I see another piece of neon-frosted cake I think I might hurl. Matt and I went over all that has happened in 7 years of marriage. Here's the review:

7 of the best years of my life
6 little hands brought into the world
5 moves (3 apartments, 2 homes--I am a serial mover)
4 jobs held
3 cars purchased
2 mortgages
1 happy happy family

I can't believe it's all there on paper, but there it is. Hard to believe we were just 24 when we started down this road. Mere tadpoles. I suppose we've been busy. And although I will always look back and think how much easier it would have been if we had a house first, or been more vigilant about savings, or understood what we were doing before we did it, I also realize that for two doubting Thomases who are sometimes thickheaded to good advice, reinventing the wheel is a chore we inevitably must complete. I also realize that what has happened has made our kids who they are and has made us who we are. Happy 6th, happy 4th, and happy 1st to our sweet cherubs. And thanks to all of our friends and family who have been with us through this meandering but purposeful path. We're blessed.

The latest

Just a few snippits from the last few days...

The kids birthday party where one of the boys yelled "Mrs. Incredimom [referring to me] is stinky!" over and over, did the opposite of "Simon Says", and then finally grabbed my boob when I was the stoplight in "Red Light Green Light." I nearly spanked him.

Annie's birthday--she was so happy with her tinkerbell cake and all the fairies that she got. Never mind that Barbie's Fairytopia fairies look like hookers. I can't decide which look trampier: the fairies or Bratz dolls.

Playing 20 questions with the kids. The kids had narrowed it down to an adult male living with Grandma.
Annie: "Is this person black?"
Me: "No"
Annie: "Is this person brown?"
Me: "No."
Annie: So it's not Grandpa?

Johnny loves when people are afraid of something. I told him I was afraid of bugs one day when we were sitting at breakfast. Under the table he knocks. I say, "Who is that at the door?" John answers "It's a bug." Today while Matt was reading the paper and John was eating cereal, Johnny asks Matt what he is afraid of. "Inflation," Matt answers. And of course, knock knock knock, "Dad, I think that's inflation at the door."

When out to dinner downtown with my mom, I got a little turned around, and in a tizzy of getting to the restaurant on time, I missed the signs for speed bumps ahead and flew over them at 20mph. Plastic flap covering the underbelly came down. Took it in, and it turns out that zip ties can do wonders. Total damage only $31.