Spiritual Enlightenment

In my quest to be a happier, more positive person, I started on my path to spiritual enlightenment a few weeks ago, going to a Buddhist meditation class and attending a women's evening of reflection at Church. I would like to share my experiences. First the Buddhist class, then the women's evening of reflection.

The Buddhist class was organized as such: welcome and breathing meditation, discussion by Buddhist teacher, small group discussion, closing and more breathing meditation. The topic of the evening was "Training in Humility." One of the things the teacher talked about was how infrequently we think about or really even regard other human beings that we don't know. For example, we'll walk by the bus stop and not regard a person any more than the lamp post they are standing next to. This is how most of us go through life. She continued by talking about becoming other-centered instead of self-centered. When we broke into small groups, there was something that I was having a lot of difficulty with that I decided to bring up. My whole purpose of coming to the class in the first place was to do something good for ME, and here this Buddhist guru was telling us how we need to stop thinking about ourselves and become less self-centered. So I brought it up and immediately after felt like maybe I shouldn't have brought it up. Maybe being new I was just supposed to close my eyes a lot and talk about chi and agree with everything people said. Nobody in my group had a solution to this problem, and it was time to end the small group time anyhow. We did our final breathing meditation and said goodbye. As I was putting my shoes back on (we all had to remove our shoes at the door at the beginning...not yet sure why), someone from my small group stopped me. "I was struck by your question and didn't have an answer right away, but then an image came to my mind. It's when the flight attendant tells you at the beginning of a flight that you need to put your own mask on before you can help those around you. Don't know what kind of help that image is for you, but that's what came to me." Even though it was kind of awkward, I was grateful that the man had stopped me and shared the image that he received and I thought about it over the next couple of days.

Four nights later, I went to the women's evening of reflection with Bridget Sperduto as the key speaker. She has a lot of jobs in the Church and outside it that she does that I could list, but the best title she holds is "Kickass Spiritual Speaker". I had heard her before at the last women's morning of reflection. The topic for the evening was to be "Taking Care of Yourself." The first thing that Bridget said when she got up was "You know how when you get onto an airplane and before you take off, you are instructed to put your own mask on before you help anyone else with theirs?" *WEIRD* I got a chill as this evening picked up exactly where the Buddhist class left off. Bridget continued, "If we give of ourselves too much, there is nothing left to give, and then the people around us have nothing, and we have nothing."

I had one other strange thing happen during this evening. One of the readings was of the woman by the well. Bridget read the story and we were supposed to envision ourselves in the story. I was trying hard to feel a connection with the woman who had five husbands, but I was only really having success envisioning the husbands I would choose if I could have five. Then I was trying to feel a connection with Jesus, but I just couldn't. But then when we reached the part in the story when the woman draws up the bucket, I suddenly jumped into the story. I was myself (my neurotic, angst-filled, peace-seeking self) sitting at the bottom of the well, at the bottom of the rope, being pulled up by the future me (peaceful, loving, kind, patient). I think I had that image because I recently finished the book Eat, Pray, Love where there was a scene in the book where the author talks about the future her (and the better version) pulling the present her (the more broken version) along through time. Like she couldn't do it alone, but nobody in her life could help her but HER. And so that was the image that I was given as I heard the woman at the well story.

And so how do these tales come together? Well, I imagine that the person at the bottom of that well is sitting there filling up that bucket over and over again for everyone in her life. Jesus calls down to her that he can give her living water. She decides to hop on that bucket and take the ride up that well by Jesus. When she gets near the top she realizes it was her future self that was pulling on that rope. But her future self looked like her, but had the hands of God. Somehow everyone in the story was one in the same person, able to cherish and care for self as well as others.

If that last paragraph (or last four) didn't make any sense (or if you skipped through all of that shit and are contemplating your own five imaginary husbands), no worries. All I'd like to report is that I feel well on my way to becoming my best future self.

:)