The gift contract

In this season of giving gifts, I would like to propose a radical thought: gifts are not all about the person receiving the gift. They are a contract between the giver and the receiver. The gift can be a signal of closeness to a person if it is personal, can be all wrong if it's personal but not fitting for the recipient, and totally inappropriate if its way too personal. A gift should be met with a look of surprise, excitement, and gratitude to fulfill the gift-giver's anticipation.

I have a few stories. First, my grandmother when she was alive used to give very expensive presents to everyone on her list. She gave my Dad $300 shoes, which he said were nice, but about $150 too expensive for him. He wore them with exercise pants. My mother in law asked us a few years ago what we would like for Christmas. Matt told her a gift card would be lovely. She refused. It is impersonal and tacky! (She gave them anyway) My aunt one year decided to give all the boys in the family blue blazers. One son-in-law told her he already had three and really didn't need another. But at the end of the day, he was at the tailors getting fitted for a blue blazer along with the other boys.

I totally agree with having standards about what you give. I don't buy video games, parental advisory music, or fart books for my Godson even though he would love to get them. As a side note, my kids play video games and think farting is hilarious, but these are things I would like to try not to encourage. No inappropriate music yet but I just told Johnny all about periods. I'm afraid this tangent deserves its own paragraph:

Johnny was hanging on the tampon box at a public restroom and asked what it was for. I blushed, and then collected myself and cheerily explained in simple terms, "Babies need a soft bed of blood in a mommy's tummy to sleep and grow in, and when there's no baby, the blood all comes out of a mom's vagina. That's what a period is!" This mostly only served to shock and appall as I could see by the disgusted look on Johnny's face. "Do babies really sleep in a bed of blood?"

Anyhow, back to the point, I think I wrote a previous post about how really a Godmother's only responsibility is to give cool presents at Christmas and birthdays. By this standard, I am failing miserably with shitty gifts. I am unsure about this year's gift. I got a dartboard and a pop-up book about the human body (which may or may not contain information about farting).

We just really want to get something for our loved ones that we will be happy with, they will be happy with, and that will appropriately mark our relationship with them. Is that so much to ask?