Resolutions

When I make New Year's Resolutions, it looks less like a couple of simple statements and more like a table of contents for a doctoral thesis. There are chapter headings like "Health," "Relationships," and "Professional/Academic." Maybe it's because I hold out hope that if it looks more official, it'll turn out better. Like buying wine with a gold seal. And so goes the doctoral thesis of New Year's resolutions. The titles, the supporting categories, the specific deeds that comprise each resolution have a way of shaping the direction of the following year. I have the last few years' resolutions saved and look back on them. All of the goals are not reached, of course, but a lot of them are! So this year I've started writing the book on what I'll do this coming year. On health and fitness, I wanted to accomplish some bigger races. This serves a few purposes. First, it's nice to accomplish a big race. Second, it's good for your health. Third, I might finally lose that little muffin top that clings to my midsection post-baby #3. Fourth, exercising every day is as good for positive brain activity as antidepressents. I hope the only drugs I take this year are ones I never tried in college. :) Fifth, exercise gives you more energy throughout the day, which could help me be a better home-keeper and a more fun mom.

With a belly full of healthy fruits and vegetables (and tremendous gas), and muscles glowing and energized from the first few "real" workouts in a long time, I hauled my new self to prayer group tonight. Feeling hopeful with my outline of promises to self-improve in 2009, a woman in the group started us off with a New Year's prayer. Here it is:

God's Blessings in the New Year

Every January 1, I ask myself the same thing: How am I going to be better this year? I suppose it's a fair question. We all have room for improvement. But I seem to come back to the same shortcomings time and time again. "This year I will be kinder," I tell myself. "This year I will be thinner. This year I will be more patient."

I am always trying to create a new and improved version of myself--and not just on New Year's Day. In spite of all my resolutions, though, I seem to be basically the same person I was a year ago...and ten years ago. Maybe this year I won't try to reinvent myself. It was God who created me, after all. Maybe instead of trying to fix everything that's wrong with me, I will ask for God's blessings, place myself in God's hands, and trust that God will continue to create me.

Loving God, bless me and keep me in the coming year, however you see fit.